Week 3- A Different Culture Doesn't Have to Come from Across the World

 I want to start off with a little story. For the purpose names are changed and we will call the husband Jack and the wife Jill. Jack and Jill grew up in the same small town, going to the same church, school and both playing sports. They were both in student leadership and at least 2 choir classes. They had similar friend groups and would even hang out with each other on some occasions. You would think that with so many similarities they too would be similar in most ways of thinking and acting. With some time apart after high school they yet again found themselves doing many of the same things, in the same town, going to the same college. Long story short they fell in love and got married. 

Previous to getting married they talked through the big and important things leaving only the little inconsistencies to manifest themselves only as time goes on. One month in and the newlyweds are thriving in most ways until the trash can is full. Neither have a problem taking it out (thank goodness) however each time it leaves the other thinking, "What did I do wrong why is she the one taking out the trash?" or "Does he think I am incapable to take it out because I am a woman?" Emotions rise and things are left unsaid for a time until one finally brings it up asking the other why they are taking out the trash when to them it seems like their personal responsibility. They quickly find out that they are just doing what they each saw done in their own family. For Jill her mother was always the one to take out the trash and consequently seemed like the normal thing for her to do in her new marriage. Same with Jack, copying his father’s way of taking out the trash made him think that it would be solely his responsibility. They agreed that the trash would just get taken it out when it needed to by whoever go to it first and there would be no hard feelings. 

This instance in the grand scheme of things was quite minimal. However, it poses a thoughtful self-reflection to understand that no matter how much we think that we are just like our neighbors, that each family creates their own culture that can prove to be a challenge to blend in marriages. 

In class this week we heavily discussed the topic of culture and the impact that it has on a family. Undeniably the trend goes both ways, family culture can influence community culture and vice versa and even more so in some cases does the family effect the community. 

One of my biggest take aways from this week was the importance of communication and compromise. In all relationships if we understand a little more fully that we all come from different backgrounds/ cultures that make us different then I predict that we would become less fearful to communicate our thoughts. As bring new ideas in the world it creates a place of growing and learning new things that one can implement in their life to make it better. Many people study different culture and find much fascination in them and even more especially for me in visiting them. People don’t often go into another culture and want to change it, yet they participate the best they can and highly respect it. We too can recognize that each individual is a culture and not go in trying to change them yet learn about them and adopt parts that we may enjoy and stay loyal to our own traditions that are important to us and different from others. 

Brene Brown said, “I define connection as the energy that exists between people when they feel seen heard and valued; when they can give and receive without judgement; and when they derive sustenance and strength for the relationship.” “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.” 

As we build new connections with people may we each remember that it is a two-way road that we can speak and listen, teach and council and that the ultimate way to prove respect is understand the other person. As we share respect to others, they will likely share it back and we can gain courage to share more freely and uplift others around us without own little culture. 

Just when doubt comes flooding the mind it is crucial to remember that we are big enough to be our own individual culture and with that we can make a change and be different from all others before us, around us and those that will come after us.