Week 4- Growth Happens When Everyone is True to Themselves

One of my favorite movies is called She’s the Man it is easily the most quoted movie in my house among my sister and I. Quick gist of the movie for those who haven’t seen it is, the main character who loves soccer isn’t able to play on her school team because they cut the girls team due to lack of funding. When she goes to try out for the boys’ team the coach says, “But girls aren’t as fast as boys. Or as strong. Or as athletic. This is not me talking. It’s a scientific fact. Girls can’t beat boys. It’s as simple as that.” 

In a turn of events, she pretends to be her brother at a new school and tries out for the boys’ soccer team. Her skills prove good enough and she starts at the opening rival game against her old school. Her secret is exposed during half time and while the boys coach of her old team says they must forfeit her current coach says, “Here at Illyria we don’t discriminate based on gender.”  

Not only does this prove my point that She’s the Man has a quote for everything it also relates to this week’s topic so well. We talked a lot about roles of males and females and how different they can be and most times that they are polar opposites yet when we put them together, we can individually grow our weaknesses and share our strengths. 

 

Females: 

Socially oriented

Nurturing 

Better communicators 

Sensitive to emotions

Spatial in directions  

Males: 

Providers 

Stronger 

More straight forward 

“Fix It” people 

Directions given based off turns and streets 

More emotionally tough 

 

If we go down each list and we may be able to find characteristics in one gender list that we would like to see possessed by our significant other of the opposite gender. Many of these come down to the proving stereotype types correct and so we live up to such characteristics because we are told that’s what we are supposed to be. Some do however prove to be true based off more scientific tendencies yet that does not mean that it is strictly only achieved by the specified gender. As they relate to characteristics and personalities, we can see that all are capable of obtaining and changing desired traits. We call this androgyny which is the possession of both masculine and feminine traits in humans. 

In improving ourselves and in finding someone to marry it is okay to possess some of the more traditionally opposite gender characteristics, just as it is okay for a significant other to do the same. It helps up go back to the beginning where we talk about having differences that can make a situation better and help one another learn and grow through each other’s strengths. 

My teacher described it this way, if we place our hands together, we are only able to cover the surface as big as our hands, likewise if we marry someone exactly the same as us there is little room for growth. If we place our hands side by side only the tips of our thumbs touching, we are able to cover a lot of surfaces but there is little connection between partners and will most likely lead to problems. However, lastly if we place our palms together with our fingers interlaced that shows a connection with a spouse that will prove to be the most beneficial. The connection at the palms could represent the things that are of most value to each of you and you see eye to eye are able to support one another in those things. The similarities found in the palm will keep you together and closely knit. The fingers may be the differences among you, but it first helps you cover more space or problems that may occur with a broader view of how to handle it. It will also be the strengths and weakness that will be able to help one another grow and ultimately connect the couple more. 

As we focus on finding those that are the most like us in the things that are of most importance then it is safe to say that most of the differences will fall into place interlaced one right after another. The differences in male and females don’t have to be bad nor do they have to strictly stay to one gender. “Be not afraid of growing slowly, be afraid only of standing still.”